returning to the nest

I take back every complaint I ever made about my old job, or living in Naperville. While both were horrible, neither is as bad as being unemployed, unemployable, and living with my mother. Apart from the benefit of having a real, live psychopath that I can practice diagnosing, there is very little keeping me from jumping off the nearest bridge. Add to the fact that nearly every other aspect of my life has gone up in flames and the idea that I'm going to die a spinster gets more realistic every day and... it's a wonder I don't jump in front of the bus every morning. I know, I know.. I'm young. I'll finish grad school, meet a nice man or woman, get a job, and find a nice apartment with lots of locks and a new phone number.

Well.. I'll probably finish grad school, as I've already signed up for $20,000 in loans and I'd hate for all that to go for naught. Meeting someone gets a little more difficult, as I'm terrible at first impressions and even worse at keeping friends. I'm at a new school, and while I've made a fair amount of friends, I barely speak to anyone else. I don't know how to start conversations. I feel too boring and sluggish. Nearly a year of unemployment and too much t.v. has rotted my brain. And while I've ditched guys who treat me like a rest stop, it appears that that has cut out all of my prospects. As for a job.. we'll see. It's not like social services ever got much money, and after this election, they'll probably get even less. Fucking teabaggers. I'll keep dreaming for my own place though. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through my mother's waking hours is imagining how I'll decorate my bathroom.