all construction and no sleep makes kate an angry girl

I used to complain that the construction workers started before 8am. Now I look back on that time as a golden age... They've started working at 3am now. But there's light at the end of the tunnel. I hear they're going to be done by the end of the week. So, woot!

The cheese addiction is rearing its ugly head today. Especially since I'm on my pre-period binge and EVERYTHING looks good. Especially cheese-y things. So far I've been good. No dairy or eggs since I've started. Just had a snack of strawberries and I have leftover pasta from last night for dinner. So things shouldn't get out of hand. I'll bring nuts to my jumbo class to hold myself over. The challenge will come this evening when I bake cookies. I bake cookies for my study group students and being poor, I just shell out for the break and bake shit. Not vegan. So I can't have any. This is going to be a giant test of my willpower.

Veggie delights..

I made roasted red pepper sauce and pasta for dinner today from a vegan cookbook (I think it was called Supermarket Vegan). Smelled awesome, looked great, tasted... meh. Maybe it was the wheat pasta but something tasted off. Oh well. At least it was filling!

i am margot tenenbaum

I've smoked for four years, I have numerous tattoos, my number of sexual "conquests" is higher than I ever thought it would be...

and no one in my family is the wiser. I haven't started hiding cigarettes with the Q-tips, but I'm not far off. Most of my life is lived in secret anyway...

Veganism is going better today. Cheese cravings are there, but luckily I have enough tasty alternatives.

(mis)Adventures in Veganism

So I've been trying to go (and stay) vegan since the beginning of the year. But unfortunately, cheese has a hold over me that I've felt powerless to overcome. Recently tho, I listened to a talk from an animal rights activist, and it really kicked up my motivation to really give this a shot. It also gave me an idea for a plan. He said that dairy contains caso-morphins.. a chemical secreted into milk to induce bonding. Morphins.. as in morphine.. as in as addictive (or more.. not really sure on this) as heroin. As someone who's been on a host of psychological medications for depression and anxiety and still puffs a cigarette or two.. I know a lot about how my body responds to addictions. Those days when I run to the fridge and raid whatever cheese my unsuspecting roommates have left behind? I'm just getting my fix. So like all good addictions, I need to overcome my desire and seemingly physical need for cheese. This takes time. Just giving up cheese for a day isn't going to stop the cheese beast. It's going to rear it's ugly head even harder tomorrow. So.. like many addicts.. I'm living day to day. Week to week. Eventually I won't 'need' it anymore.

Today didn't get off to a very good start. Silly me bought rolls and didn't meticulously look through the ingredients.. whole milk AND eggs.. perfect. When I went to Target to pick up a loaf of bread, I realized that almost every single of loaf of bread in the place had milk in it. Since when does bread have milk in it? I wasn't even looking for honey (I'm not convinced with that argument.. maybe it's because I'm terrified of bees). But now I know why I can never have just one Trader Joe Parker House Roll.. they're addicting.. literally. I did all my shopping at Trader Joes.. but it seems like they're more friendly to vegetarians than vegans. I did manage to find some decent meatless entres.. chik'n nuggets and the like. The speaker made it sound like most of these are vegan, but I found a lot of them had hidden dairy.. Very sneaky. I even got myself to snack on cherry tomatoes during class. I hate tomatoes. I always feel like I'm popping a pimple when they burst open in my mouth. But I did it. I had a whole baggie of them. Maybe they'll grow on me.